2010-04-22, 06:35 AM
My situation:
the short: I'm 23, still live at home, I have a decent/steady job. I pay $200/month on the 2nd mortgage.
the long: I live at home still, not by choice. My mom has made me feel so guilty about even thinking about moving out that I have stayed at home all these years. I provide her transportation (we share my car), I pay for groceries 75-90% of the time, pay for all upkeep of my car (except insurance which she pays), and any "going out" expenses (birthday dinners, take out food, entertainment). My mom pays for the household bills, insurance for us both, essentially anything I don't pay. My dad (who doesn't live with us) pays for his household, medical costs (what insurance doesn't cover for everyone minus me), and the mortgages. As for my sister's, my older sister moved out at 16, my 2 younger sisters (20 and 15) pay for nothing (my sister [20 yr old] pays for cell phones for my mom, her and my youngest sister [the 15 yr old does chores to pay her part]).
I do believe that once you hit 18 you should contribute to the household's expenses. If your still living at home at that point you shouldn't just expect a free ride. If attending college I think the contribution should be minimal (parents paying tuition, student pays for books etc) but not reduced to nothing.
As for the TC's situation the 6K absolutely has to be paid back to you, or they have to take over tuition costs for the year/years it would cover. It is inexcusable for that money just "disappeared". Sit down with the parents and say, "I'm trying to be financially responsible and your hindering it by messing up my finances." Tell them from that day forward its the agreed to $250/month for expenses and $0 loaner/free money. The 6K gets paid back (either no 250 from you till its repaid, like they are paying you 250/month to pay it back, or they can pay tuition when its due) no questions, but all other debts (theirs and the cost to raise you) are forgotten. Simple as that.
the short: I'm 23, still live at home, I have a decent/steady job. I pay $200/month on the 2nd mortgage.
the long: I live at home still, not by choice. My mom has made me feel so guilty about even thinking about moving out that I have stayed at home all these years. I provide her transportation (we share my car), I pay for groceries 75-90% of the time, pay for all upkeep of my car (except insurance which she pays), and any "going out" expenses (birthday dinners, take out food, entertainment). My mom pays for the household bills, insurance for us both, essentially anything I don't pay. My dad (who doesn't live with us) pays for his household, medical costs (what insurance doesn't cover for everyone minus me), and the mortgages. As for my sister's, my older sister moved out at 16, my 2 younger sisters (20 and 15) pay for nothing (my sister [20 yr old] pays for cell phones for my mom, her and my youngest sister [the 15 yr old does chores to pay her part]).
I do believe that once you hit 18 you should contribute to the household's expenses. If your still living at home at that point you shouldn't just expect a free ride. If attending college I think the contribution should be minimal (parents paying tuition, student pays for books etc) but not reduced to nothing.
As for the TC's situation the 6K absolutely has to be paid back to you, or they have to take over tuition costs for the year/years it would cover. It is inexcusable for that money just "disappeared". Sit down with the parents and say, "I'm trying to be financially responsible and your hindering it by messing up my finances." Tell them from that day forward its the agreed to $250/month for expenses and $0 loaner/free money. The 6K gets paid back (either no 250 from you till its repaid, like they are paying you 250/month to pay it back, or they can pay tuition when its due) no questions, but all other debts (theirs and the cost to raise you) are forgotten. Simple as that.