2010-04-21, 04:37 AM
Just curious what people on Southperry think. Reason for this is that I have been paying my parents $250/month to live at home for the last 3ish years, and when friends find out about that, they're usually appalled that my parents would charge me to live at home.
This all started when I entered University, and one of my other friend's parents charged him to live at home. That combined with most of my friends (well, not even most, probably half) having jobs led my dad to believe that they all pay their parents to live at home, which isnt the case; they keep all the money themselves to spend going out, buying clothes, going on vacation at the end of each semester, etc.
Initially, their reason for wanting to charge me to live at home was because they wanted that to be an incentive to get a job. I understand that reasoning, but at the same time, being a music student there simply isnt the time. I've been taking 30+ credits per year for the last two years, with 7 courses per semester the last 4 semesters (the standard load here is 4-5). On top of that, being a music major requires lots of practicing time, and most days, I do not come home from school till 7-9 pm. I spend most of my weekends volunteering at church, so I dont even have time to get a weekend only job, not to mention the weekend is when I'm usually catching up on homework. I do have an unofficial "job" in teaching piano to one student and editing papers, but that's not the kind of job they expect me getting, as they feel there are no references from such work that can go on a resume as experience.
Personally, it's not something I like doing (giving my money $250 a month), but at the same time, I feel there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes on top of the $250/month, my parents would take extra money out of my wallet. I sometimes have $100 in coins sitting on my table, and it would disappear in a span of weeks with me spending only around 5-10 of it, or they would borrow a few hundred from me in bills, in both scenarios, always saying they'd pay me back. However, I have never once been paid back, and when I do ask about it, they would go down the list of all the things they pay for for me (tuition, food, living expenses), and go on to talk about all the money they've spent raising me these past 20 years. Really, how can I argue against that? It's not like I have the resources to pay them for everything. While my parents have paid for my tuition the first 2 years of University, I recently took out a 10k student loan to pay for 3rd year. My tuition totaled up to 4.5k, and I had roughly 6k left for textbooks and living expenses. My dad took it all and spent it on who knows what, and when I asked him how I was going to pay it back, he got really mad at me, and went back to the "We've paid to raise you all these years, and you want to calculate money now?", which brings me back to "I cant say anything about it because its true"
My friend looked at it from the opposite end, saying "When parents have children, they do so knowing full well the financial burdens that they will bear. It's not fair for them to take from you now. Parents are supposed to provide for their children, not the other way around." While I personally want to see it that way as well, it seems a pretty spoiled way to look at things, with the feeling of entitlement to everything.
Also, if it isnt too personal, do you guys have to pay to live at home?
This all started when I entered University, and one of my other friend's parents charged him to live at home. That combined with most of my friends (well, not even most, probably half) having jobs led my dad to believe that they all pay their parents to live at home, which isnt the case; they keep all the money themselves to spend going out, buying clothes, going on vacation at the end of each semester, etc.
Initially, their reason for wanting to charge me to live at home was because they wanted that to be an incentive to get a job. I understand that reasoning, but at the same time, being a music student there simply isnt the time. I've been taking 30+ credits per year for the last two years, with 7 courses per semester the last 4 semesters (the standard load here is 4-5). On top of that, being a music major requires lots of practicing time, and most days, I do not come home from school till 7-9 pm. I spend most of my weekends volunteering at church, so I dont even have time to get a weekend only job, not to mention the weekend is when I'm usually catching up on homework. I do have an unofficial "job" in teaching piano to one student and editing papers, but that's not the kind of job they expect me getting, as they feel there are no references from such work that can go on a resume as experience.
Personally, it's not something I like doing (giving my money $250 a month), but at the same time, I feel there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes on top of the $250/month, my parents would take extra money out of my wallet. I sometimes have $100 in coins sitting on my table, and it would disappear in a span of weeks with me spending only around 5-10 of it, or they would borrow a few hundred from me in bills, in both scenarios, always saying they'd pay me back. However, I have never once been paid back, and when I do ask about it, they would go down the list of all the things they pay for for me (tuition, food, living expenses), and go on to talk about all the money they've spent raising me these past 20 years. Really, how can I argue against that? It's not like I have the resources to pay them for everything. While my parents have paid for my tuition the first 2 years of University, I recently took out a 10k student loan to pay for 3rd year. My tuition totaled up to 4.5k, and I had roughly 6k left for textbooks and living expenses. My dad took it all and spent it on who knows what, and when I asked him how I was going to pay it back, he got really mad at me, and went back to the "We've paid to raise you all these years, and you want to calculate money now?", which brings me back to "I cant say anything about it because its true"
My friend looked at it from the opposite end, saying "When parents have children, they do so knowing full well the financial burdens that they will bear. It's not fair for them to take from you now. Parents are supposed to provide for their children, not the other way around." While I personally want to see it that way as well, it seems a pretty spoiled way to look at things, with the feeling of entitlement to everything.
Also, if it isnt too personal, do you guys have to pay to live at home?