2010-02-26, 07:32 AM
1) Your age?
44
2) Do you plan on getting married?
No
3) Are you going to have any sort of cohabitation?
No
4) Do you think cohabitation helps to avoid divorces, or increase the chances of divorce? Explain why.
I have read the statistics that show that couples who cohabited before marriage are more likely to divorce. However, I do not believe there is a cause-and-effect here. Rather, both are caused by the same external factor.
In today's Western society, people who don't live together before getting married, are (in generalization) more religious or otherwise conservative/traditional than people who do. These people are also more likely to believe in the sanctity of marriage, or otherwise assign it a higher significance than the more "modern" or "liberal" types. In other words, they are much less likely to just pick up and leave when their marriage goes through a rough patch, or even just becomes boring.
So, if you are in fact the type of person who doesn't mind cohabiting, avoiding it in order to prevent divorce will just not work. You should live together, get to know the person and their habits, try to make sure you really can stand to be around them day after day after day.
5) Do you think love is essential for marriage? Explain why.
Nowadays, yes. In the past, marriage was essential, for both social and economic reasons. A single person could not survive, could not raise a family. So arranged marriages and marriages of convenience all worked, as long as the people involved did their part and got along reasonably well.
Today, there are so many labor-saving devices, services for sale, and social acceptance, that it's simply no longer necessary to share your life with someone you don't love. At least to start with. Later on, there might be other considerations for staying together (children, inertia), but if there is no love in the beginning, what is the point?
6) Do you plan on having children? If so, why, and how many?
I already have two children. Why? I've been brainwashed from infancy that children are pretty much the goal of life. If you have no children, you might as well not have lived. Even though I am aware of this indoctrination, still it took hold. Even though I had fun doing pretty much whatever I wanted, my life seemed pointless without a cute little baby to snuggle.
(Oddly enough, the even more powerful brainwashing to get married, the notion that in order to "live happily ever after" I must find my prince, never worked on me. Go figure)
I totally disagree with the view of children as a financial investment, as someone who'd take care of me in my old age. If I wanted that, I'd have put all the money children cost over the years into some kind of savings program to enable me to purchase whatever care I need in my old age. Much more reliable than children, who just might turn out selfish, or unable to support even themselves.
44
2) Do you plan on getting married?
No
3) Are you going to have any sort of cohabitation?
No
4) Do you think cohabitation helps to avoid divorces, or increase the chances of divorce? Explain why.
I have read the statistics that show that couples who cohabited before marriage are more likely to divorce. However, I do not believe there is a cause-and-effect here. Rather, both are caused by the same external factor.
In today's Western society, people who don't live together before getting married, are (in generalization) more religious or otherwise conservative/traditional than people who do. These people are also more likely to believe in the sanctity of marriage, or otherwise assign it a higher significance than the more "modern" or "liberal" types. In other words, they are much less likely to just pick up and leave when their marriage goes through a rough patch, or even just becomes boring.
So, if you are in fact the type of person who doesn't mind cohabiting, avoiding it in order to prevent divorce will just not work. You should live together, get to know the person and their habits, try to make sure you really can stand to be around them day after day after day.
5) Do you think love is essential for marriage? Explain why.
Nowadays, yes. In the past, marriage was essential, for both social and economic reasons. A single person could not survive, could not raise a family. So arranged marriages and marriages of convenience all worked, as long as the people involved did their part and got along reasonably well.
Today, there are so many labor-saving devices, services for sale, and social acceptance, that it's simply no longer necessary to share your life with someone you don't love. At least to start with. Later on, there might be other considerations for staying together (children, inertia), but if there is no love in the beginning, what is the point?
6) Do you plan on having children? If so, why, and how many?
I already have two children. Why? I've been brainwashed from infancy that children are pretty much the goal of life. If you have no children, you might as well not have lived. Even though I am aware of this indoctrination, still it took hold. Even though I had fun doing pretty much whatever I wanted, my life seemed pointless without a cute little baby to snuggle.
(Oddly enough, the even more powerful brainwashing to get married, the notion that in order to "live happily ever after" I must find my prince, never worked on me. Go figure)
I totally disagree with the view of children as a financial investment, as someone who'd take care of me in my old age. If I wanted that, I'd have put all the money children cost over the years into some kind of savings program to enable me to purchase whatever care I need in my old age. Much more reliable than children, who just might turn out selfish, or unable to support even themselves.