2009-10-01, 01:56 AM
Listening is a good trait to have, but you have to keep in mind that women use men for that. A lot of times women say you're their "friend," but really they just want to have you around so they can whine to you and give you nothing whatsoever. To a woman, using a man like that is similar to a man keeping a woman around just for sex. A woman who wants to be "just friends" is no friend to you.
Of course, plenty of guys listen to their actual female friends, but that's different because the girl will listen to you too, when you need it. The girl will be there for you, care for you, and give you help. The difference is, that the "just friends" chick will weasel out of that -- never care about what you want, just using you for what she wants. Trust me, it's easy to tell if you're a friend or a "friend." Just ask yourself if you feel used and pathetic when you're around the girl.
As far as asking her out, that's a good way to go if she knows you and trusts you a bit. Some people say that once you're friends with a girl, you can't become her boyfriend, but I disagree with that. Some women will want to be friends with you because they don't like you like that, but then, it's just as possible the girl never viewed you as boyfriend material in the first place. A ton of people I know grew from friendship to relationship, and those are actually the best ones. Trusting intimately to a person you already trust a lot is WAY easier, smoother, and better than trying to establish that rapport with a random girl through rigid routines of "lunches," "dinners," "movies," and "coffees."
Which of these three this girl is to you, you really will just have to determine for yourself. The only really hard and fast thing is, don't let your feelings blind you to the point where you're seeing what you want to see, rather than what is.
Of course, plenty of guys listen to their actual female friends, but that's different because the girl will listen to you too, when you need it. The girl will be there for you, care for you, and give you help. The difference is, that the "just friends" chick will weasel out of that -- never care about what you want, just using you for what she wants. Trust me, it's easy to tell if you're a friend or a "friend." Just ask yourself if you feel used and pathetic when you're around the girl.
As far as asking her out, that's a good way to go if she knows you and trusts you a bit. Some people say that once you're friends with a girl, you can't become her boyfriend, but I disagree with that. Some women will want to be friends with you because they don't like you like that, but then, it's just as possible the girl never viewed you as boyfriend material in the first place. A ton of people I know grew from friendship to relationship, and those are actually the best ones. Trusting intimately to a person you already trust a lot is WAY easier, smoother, and better than trying to establish that rapport with a random girl through rigid routines of "lunches," "dinners," "movies," and "coffees."
Which of these three this girl is to you, you really will just have to determine for yourself. The only really hard and fast thing is, don't let your feelings blind you to the point where you're seeing what you want to see, rather than what is.