2013-12-11, 10:10 PM
Throes Wrote:Invited a boy who is not my husband to the company Christmas party. Wrote his name down on the guest list posted in the break room.
LET THE RUMORS FLY!
Had an amazing time at the Christmas party. Got drunk and partied with a bunch of my favorite people. Crushing pretty hard on said boy. Feeling kinda terrified.
After the party we went to a park, sat on the swings, and talked about life, the universe, and everything. He walked me home. I invited him upstairs for pumpkin pie and whipped cream, then we talked some more. Finally sent him home a little past 2am. Resisted every urge in my body to kiss him...
I am very mistrustful of what I feel towards this boy. Am I really into him because of him? Or am I just looking to fill the empty space in my heart? He is nerdy and creative and talented and sweet and truly a good guy. He knows I'm not at all ready for anything to happen between us and is respectful of that. I want to get to know everything about him but I do not want to ask him to put his life on hold waiting for me because who knows when I will be ready, or if what I'm feeling right now is real.
Woke up with a headache but felt absolutely glorious.
What am I doing.