2013-01-02, 07:09 PM
Retalion Wrote:None taken. It still irks me at times, because she sometimes expects me to live up to her expectations, and they are well...unreasonable at times.
What I'm saying is that these rules won't make him a better person. When rules make people better people, it's out of fear; rules don't teach people not to do things...it teaches people how to get around the system and not get caught. All those parents forbidding their children to date in high school...Do these kids actually not date? Sure, some don't, but many simply choose to date behind their parents' back. Plagerism gets you expelled. Does that prevent people from doing it? Nope, they just try to become more sneaky. People choose not to date because they think to themselves "you know, they might actually have a point...I'm NOT ready!", and people choose not to cheat because "dangit, I'm better than that. I don't need to cheat to get my grades! I study hard, I won't have to cheat!"
This so much.
My mom was like the mom who gave the cellphone, always behind my back, checking everything I did and fixing all my mess ups. It was more like they're trying to prevent mess ups than to actually help their kids become responsible adults.
All her rules were reasonable and whatnot, but it didn't help me at all. When I turned 16-17 and changed school I noticed I had never dealt with anything because my mom was always there, hoping all her rules would make me a great adult.
When she was finally off my back I started messing things up really bad, but since she wasn't there I was able to fix them by myself. I was finally able to grow up. Of course, sometimes I needed her support, but that's all parents should do: support their kids.
From all those mistakes, experiences and advices I managed to learn more than from the restrictive rules I had.
Bit off topic: Things have changed enough so that I don't feel controlled at all. If anything, the liberties I was given when I left school made me notice that talking with my mom about certain stuff, and getting her advice was beneficial.
But when it comes to money I'm still controlled, and it's something that scares me. I've never really dealt with money, whenever I need money I ask my mom to give me some and she does. I don't know what's it like to have a budget, I don't know what's it like to have no money at the end of the month because I overspent myself.
I've been trying to convince her to give me a monthly allowance, that's enough to cover my expenses, but she's afraid I'll mess up and end up with nothing after a couple of weeks. And what if I do? I gotta learn how to make money last for a month.