Mom's own iPhone use ToC (Terms of Conditions) to her son

Kids these days, I tells ya what. I didn't get a phone until I was around 15 years old. The phone was the size of a brick, it could only be used to talk.

 Spoiler

OH MY GOD THESE RULES PISS ME OFF SO MUCH PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE MY ANGRY SIDE.

Prime example of why rules/advice like this has to be stated.

2. I will always know the password.

Haha, nope. I'd smash it first, you nosy plum.

Because destroying expensive things is smart.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

Clearly the dumbest rule of them all. I mean pomegranate, lady, you don't understand kids if you think you can enforce a bedtime after 7:30. being that strict with him is only going to alienate him.

Clearly the rule doesn't say anything about a bedtime.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

''HEY MOM HELP SOMEONE ABDUCTED ME AND I CAN'T CALL FOR HELP.'' alternatively ''pomegranate, MY TEACHER'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK.''

Friends of mine have been kidnapped, the first thing they do is take away your pomegranate.

And if you're teacher's having a heart attack or in an emergency wouldn't it be faster to run towards the nearest adult, probably just a classroom away, and ask for assistance? What are you going to do with a phone? Call for an ambulance and patiently wait there? "No, it's okay, guys. I called 911. Let's just sit here and wait."

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

SOME pineappleING GIFT, HOLY pomegranate YOU ARE THE WORST PARENT. YOU AREN'T EVEN GIVING HIM THE OPTION OF GETTING A CHEAPER PHONE IN THIS. YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING ''HEY, HERE'S THIS FRAGILE PIECE OF PLASTIC. IF IT BREAKS YOU HAVE TO DO NINE TIMES THE CHORES'' FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU

Responsibility's a peach.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

He's a pineappleing teenager, teenagers DO that. It sucks, but it's impossible to stop gossip. I know you're probably guilty of gossiping with your old biddies at work.

Continue being a lying scumbag, I mean, everyone else does it so I should too.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

saying it digitally is the same as saying it in person because your name is attached to it and they inherently know who said it.

That's a bunch of bullpomegranate. In person, I could beat the pomegranate out of you for being a disrespectful and insulting.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

this is damn inconvenient, and completely goes against rule three.

Don't you just hate it when you're talking with someone and they're just half paying attention to you, while the other half is staring at their phone? Put your pomegranate away and give me your full, undivided attention, show some respect.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

wow, she must really hate instagram

Wow, she must really not want him to become an attention whore.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

I DON'T LIKE THE MUSIC YOU DERN KIDS LISTEN TO, LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE yeah okay grandma

Most of the music made nowadays is garbage, however, to each their own.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

but, learning is important. i mean i could watch a fire, and be all, wow, that's neat, i have no idea how it works but it's neat, or i could look it up, and learn about the heat, why it burns, what makes it burn, and get a deeper understanding of the world around me. you're basically telling your kid ''stay ignorant, it feels better''

Because, pineapple learning pomegranate on my own. I want a device that tells me everything I need to know. No need to experiment and experience it by myself.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

you honestly have no idea that you already took away his phone with all these limits.

It's a phone. The kid is 13 years old. Ring, ring. Hello? Ok, thanks. Bye!