Zombie training course

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...kills.html

I don't know whether to sign up or tell them what they are doing wrong.

Samurai swords + Chainsaws? no good for a zombie invasion.
also, stealth? bow and arrows? what?

First off, they are implying that the zombies can hear or track by sound, which may not be the case. Also, a bow and arrow would mean you would have to collect the ammunition from the zombie afterwards, putting yourself at risk.

Do i sound like a nerd? i feel like a nerd.

I think any weapon that doesn't run on bullets is good for a zombie invasion since unless you're in the US (check texas for better results) they're hard to find.

I guess there are many things to consider first, like what are the ways of catching the zombie virus, because if contact is one of them any close range weapon would be too risky. Also the way these zombies die cuz some only die after you break their spine, which could require a better weapon than a regular gun.

Personally I think if you can get a flexible but resistant suit that completely covers you, like the ones used in Operation Raccon City, you should be fine fighting a few zombies at a time.

Instead of killing zombies, we should fire bees at them from some sort of bee cannon!

Michigan State is offering a more educational (working under the reasonable assumption a zombie apocalypse won't happen) take on this idea.
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/03/12/walk...ng-course/
Shame I won't be around to take it.

FIVE TIPS FOR SURVIVING A ZOMBIE INVASION
"1. Stealth is crucial – hiding and attacking with a bow and arrow from vantage points can be more effective than facing zombies head on
2. Choose the right weapons – samurai swords and hatchets are useful, but it’s important to learn how to use the arms correctly
3. Consider camouflage – blending into your surroundings can vastly reduce your chance of detection by zombies. Disguising yourself as a zombie is also a pretty crafty technique
4. Awareness is everything – learn why zombies ate other campers and how to avoid their fate
5. Consider the alternatives – becoming a zombie yourself may not be such a bad option after all"


I think their brains are in the right place but looking like a zombie and successfully evading detection from a zombie are two drastically different things. Tip #3 is more likely to get you killed by other living people more than anything else. And it would probably be a good idea to ignore #5.

Don't worry guys I've played enough Left 4 Dead. I'm set.

5. Consider the alternatives – becoming a zombie yourself may not be such a bad option after all"

lol what ?

3 reasons a reanimated corpse is not a threat

1) Go ahead, go try and force bite someone. Tell me how it works out for you.
2) Extreme temperatures would cause the corpse to deteriate overtime, like 2 weeks of this plaque max.
3) Humans are weak. Without our technology we're just vulture food, or tigers, or bears.

If there was a rage/crazy pomegranate, it be a whole lot different, but then it's not zombies, it's just immoral serial killers.

Depends what kind of zombie through.

There's the original reanimated corpse where this might work then there's the infected zombies like in 28days later which are faster and "smarter" than the average zombie.

Tip #1) Never use guns. DO NOT USE GUNS. If the bullets are smaller than the size of your fist, it will not do pomegranate against a zombie.
Tip #2) Never use fire. DON'T SET ZOMBIES ON FIRE. Seems like a great idea, just crisp them until they're dead, right? NO. THEY DO NOT FEEL PAIN. YOU HAVE JUST CREATED FLAMING ZOMBIES. GOOD F'UCKING JOB.
Tip #3) Never fall in love with a zombie. THEY ARE NO LONGER HUMAN. Too many have fallen just because some zombie doesn't look very infected, and they think they can "save" them and start the human race anew with them. THEY GET KILLED AND EATEN.
Tip #4) Brutal cranial trauma. To the head. THIS IS THE ONLY FAIL SAFE WAY TO KILL A ZOMBIE. BASH IT'S F'UCKING HEAD OFF. THESE ARE WHAT YOUR BULLETS THE SIZE OF YOUR FIST ARE FOR. A HEADSHOT WITH ONE OF THOSE WILL TURN A ZOMBIE HEAD INTO A MIST OF BLOOD, BRAINS, AND BONE.

A mace is the best weapon versus the undead, obviously. Just get yourself one of those polearm style blunt-head weapons with spike portrusions, perferably thick enough to withstand a lot of use and all at least at the durability level of metal. It's not like you are going to be fighting zombies in close quarters anyway, no need to get a short hafted weapon, that just means you are closer to the attacker!

A mace is the best weapon versus the undead, obviously. Just get yourself one of those polearm style blunt-head weapons with spike portrusions, perferably thick enough to withstand a lot of use and all at least at the durability level of metal. It's not like you are going to be fighting zombies in close quarters anyway, no need to get a short hafted weapon, that just means you are closer to the attacker!

Meat tenderizers are your friends here. Maces have too high of a time needed to get back for another strike if you miss or don't get him all the way.

Tip #1) Never use guns. DO NOT USE GUNS. If the bullets are smaller than the size of your fist, it will not do pomegranate against a zombie.

Headshot?

Headshot?

Unless it is with a very large bullet or a hollow tip sniper round, it will simply pass through and not induce the requisite amount of trauma. They don't use those things for thinking, nor do they have blood.

Gee, if you want to be all scientific about it, I could link you to a Cracked article on why zombies cannot exist.

Maces have too high of a time needed to get back for another strike if you miss or don't get him all the way.

Mace, not flail. Flails are entirely useless in all situations and a good thing to use if you want to maul yourself!

Unless it is with a very large bullet or a hollow tip sniper round, it will simply pass through and not induce the requisite amount of trauma. They don't use those things for thinking, nor do they have blood.

Uh I disagree. Even a small bullet should destroy a significant part of the brain. Idk what you are basing this off of, but in every zombie game, tv show, and movie I have ever seen/played, a headshot is the most effective. I think whether it is a pistol or a shot gun, a headshot would be pretty deadly. Also if you are claiming that one isn't enough, that is why we have the double tap rule.

Mace, not flail. Flails are entirely useless in all situations and a good thing to use if you want to maul yourself!

No, I know what you mean, but they're simply too large and top heavy to make the quick, brutal strikes you need to destroy a zombie.
@Corn That was the first Cracked article I'd ever read, you don't need to give me a refresher. But this is not a time for your silly internet humor, this is a matter of life and death.

Not to mention that there has been quite a few humans that have survived headshots and similars (like knives into the brain).