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Defending my home - Printable Version

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Defending my home - Providence - 2011-09-25

I live on the basement floor of my apartment building and have been quite comfortable here for a while, now.

Recently, the outside walls of my apartment building have come under attack by the daughter of one of my fellow tenants. She's mad at the people in the apartment above mine. This happens at least three times a week. She has an anger problem and must be destroyed. However, as I am in the basement, I have limited means with which to counterattack.

[SPOILER=This is a rough idea of my apartment's location.]

[Image: unledlay.png]

I would like to use the old standby of boiling oil, but I only have olive and that is expensive. Furthermore, my window comes up to her shins and I'm sure she's wearing shoes so it probably wouldn't hurt that much.

Southperry, how do I protect my apartment building?

Defending my home - Mark - 2011-09-25

Reported for having a huge pile of illegal drugs.

Defending my home - Solarboy - 2011-09-25

Turrets and big mechas.

Those never fail.

Defending my home - Providence - 2011-09-25

Mark Wrote:Reported for having a huge pile of illegal drugs.
I have glaucoma, it's cool.

Defending my home - Mark - 2011-09-25

Seriously though. Buy some really freaky ass mask and scare the s'hit out of her next time she does it.

Defending my home - sicnarf - 2011-09-25

Have you ever considered befriending her and sharing some of your cocaine with her? Then pomegranate will be cool. Or she'll OD.

Defending my home - Rick - 2011-09-25

Grab a chainsaw and remove her feet. She'll never see it coming.

Defending my home - Providence - 2011-09-25

Mark Wrote:Seriously though. Buy some really freaky ass mask and scare the s'hit out of her next time she does it.
But what kind of mask? She's my age, so it would probably have to be especially freaky.

sicnarf Wrote:Have you ever considered befriending her and sharing some of your cocaine with her? Then pomegranate will be cool. Or she'll OD.
This might be the cocaine talking, but I strongly suspect that has been her goal all along.

Rick Wrote:Grab a chainsaw and remove her feet. She'll never see it coming.
She would hear the chainsaw, Rick. God.

Defending my home - Raul - 2011-09-25

Just get a zombie nun mask like the ones from The Town and tap the window there with a small hammer. She'll notice and freak the pineapple out. Try covering the mask with some blood and getting an airsoft pistol or suchlike.

Defending my home - Rick - 2011-09-25

Providence Wrote:She would hear the chainsaw, Rick. God.

Your picture conveys she is screaming and yelling. Her voice would cover or meld with the sound. I can lend you a chainsaw if you'd like.

Defending my home - Providence - 2011-09-25

Rick Wrote:Your picture conveys she is screaming and yelling. Her voice would cover or meld with the sound. I can lend you a chainsaw if you'd like.
That would be nice. Just don't ship any gas with it.

That would be illegal.

Defending my home - Mark - 2011-09-25

Age doesn't matter when it comes to fear. Just make sure you scream and slam the window really hard.

Defending my home - ShinkuDragon - 2011-09-25

open window, grab shins, pull woman inside, close windows, chloroform, cocaine.

Defending my home - Corn - 2011-09-25

He doesn't need a mask. I think Providence would scare her enough with all of his piercings.

Defending my home - Holypie - 2011-09-25

Get a ballista. Nothing scarier than a massive crossbow sticking out of a window.

Defending my home - Raul - 2011-09-25

Corn Wrote:He doesn't need a mask. I think Providence would scare her enough with all of his piercings.

[Image: thetown_nuns.JPG]

I beg to differ.

Defending my home - Providence - 2011-09-25

Mark Wrote:Age doesn't matter when it comes to fear. Just make sure you scream and slam the window really hard.
I'm pretty sure she could kick my ass, though.

ShinkuDragon Wrote:open window, grab shins, pull woman inside, close windows, chloroform, cocaine.
Why are we so ready to give out my cocaine? ;_:

Corn Wrote:He doesn't need a mask. I think Providence would scare her enough with all of his piercings.
I am cute.

Holypie Wrote:Get a ballista. Nothing scarier than a massive crossbow sticking out of a window.
This is the best idea yet. It'd be completely impractical because I wouldn't be able to aim it well out of a standard-sized window, and completely awesome because impracticality is a sure sign of awesomeness.

Raul Wrote:I beg to differ.
She might think I'm actually Ben Affleck. I have my pride.

Defending my home - Corn - 2011-09-25

Raul Wrote:I beg to differ.

So do I.
[Image: 193943.jpg]

Defending my home - Mark - 2011-09-25

You sissy.

Defending my home - Raul - 2011-09-25

Corn Wrote:So do I.
[Image: 193943.jpg]

Halfmask ftw here?