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+---- Thread: Insomnia (Constructive Criticism needed!) (/showthread.php?tid=10123)
Insomnia (Constructive Criticism needed!) - Melancholy - 2009-04-10
Please note that I have no real schooling on poetry, as they don't drop it into the Honours curriculum until 9th grade, so I probably need a lot of criticism. >_>
Blur
My mind is lost....
Not a single,
Second is kept unforgotten,
Or a moment preserved.
I attempt to discern,
Reality from dream...
Phantasma rape my psyche,
Abhorrence and bewildered disbelief.
Sleep deprivation leaves me downtrodden and perturbed.
Life is drained from my consciousness;
Yet cannot be restored by my resting.
Testing my patience and stableness.
Left with impoverished bleakness.
Leaves me torpid,
My cares thrown aside.
Sunken in my own cesspool,
Of a declined mind.
Not really alive or defunct;
Cadaverous am I?
Just a blur is my life.
Parasite to my mind: Insomnia.